The practices serve to make these relationships seem shameful, even though they are encouraged. Complicated as they are, they serve to stave off common love. This will prove an important point in Diotima’s “Ladder of Love.” Pausanias, who focuses on custom and law in his speech, here describes the custom in Athens surrounding mentor-student relationships. The importance of virtue as an end in seeking love is introduced by Pausanias. In addition to recognizing that the lover’s total and willing subjugation to his beloved’s wishes is neither servile nor reprehensible, we allow that there is one-and only one-further reason for willingly subjecting oneself to another which is equally above reproach: that is subjection for the sake of virtue. Our customs, then, provide for only one honorable way of taking a man as a lover. Only Diotima explicates that a person seeks glory and honor in their quest for immortality. This underlies the undercurrent of honor in the speeches. If they were at battle, they would never do anything shameful, such as leave ranks or drop weapons, in front of his beloved, but would battle on, questing to be a hero. Phaedrus, who speaks of courage, explains that people feel the most shame in front of the person they love. Theirs would be the best possible system of society, for they would hold back from all that is shameful, and seek honor in each other’s eyes. If only there were a way to start a city or an army made up of lovers and the boys they love.

Socrates the symposium